Steinbeck Sucks
by Thenumber1riddlerfan
Summary: Yellow doesn't like Steinbeck, so by extension, Red doesn't like Steinbeck. Specialshipping. Implied Oldrivalshipping, Franticshipping, and Mangaquestshipping. School AU.


As usual, tell me mistakes and I'll fix them. I hope you like my half-baked idea. Some spoilers for Steinbeck's The Pearl. (Never thought I'd say that.) Reviews and constructive criticism are my best friend! Don't own it. P.S. If you've got better ideas for their last names, I'd love to hear them!

* * *

Red managed to lift his head from the surprising comfort of his hard desk to listen to a few sentences of Ms. Roxanne's lecture.

"…supports the theme. Also, the symbolism of the story is incredibly thought provoking. The pearl could stand for the greed and corruption of man, man's desire to achieve wealth, or…"

Red put his head back down. She wasn't saying anything that demanded attention. Ordinarily, Red would be at least attempting to care, but ordinarily it wasn't a swelteringly hot September day. The school had had a broken AC for as long as Red could remember, the student council claiming that it didn't have the funds to fix it. The one office fan on Ms. Roxanne's desk valiantly tried to cool the oven of a classroom, but only succeeded in moving the humid air around. Early afternoon sunlight streamed through the open windows all along the room's east wall, which normally might have helped, but today all they did was let more hot air and bugs into the prison, for that's what Ms. Roxanne's eighth period literature class was; a prison made out of plot diagrams, character studies, and theme essays.

Red turned his head on his desk to look at his classmates, brushing his sweaty black hair from his red eyes as he did so. To his immediate left, his close friend Green sat, reading a book on what appeared to be quantum metaphysics and only looking up every once in a while to see if anything else was more worthy of his attention. Farther on down the row, sat Ruby, who because of the tedium filled atmosphere, apparently found that decorating his notebook was more entertaining than the alternative. Directly behind Ruby, was Crystal who, predictably, was taking notes as though her life depended on it. Next to her and behind Green, Gold had his feet up on the desk and was currently leaning back in his chair and snoring. Behind Red, Emerald was trying to doodle on Gold's face without waking him up.

Red's eyes now shifted to the front of the class in time to see Blue stuff something that was undoubtedly not hers away in her backpack. Sapphire was nearby, looking as though she was going to burst from inactivity. Silver was looking like he would rather be anywhere else, in short, his normal expression. And sitting next to Silver was… Yellow.

Red couldn't help staring at the back of the girl. Her blond hair was tied back like usual as her small, soft hands scribbled something in her notebook. Besides Crystal, Yellow was the only one in the class who was even attempting to pay attention. (Probably out of politeness, more than anything.) Her teeth biting on her bottom lip as she tried to write down what was being said. She was adorable.

Red realized how long he had been gazing, and looked away. Gold had dubbed his habit of looking at Yellow all day "creepy", but then again, Gold was a shameless pervert who flirted with every girl he saw, so he really didn't have the right to comment on these things. Still, it wouldn't do for her to think he was a sleaze. But lately, Red had been experiencing some strange emotions when he least expected them. Now, every time he saw her, he wanted to touch her, kiss her, run his hands through her soft hair… and oh my God, he was staring at her again!

Quickly looking down, Red thought he saw Yellow glance in his direction before turning away. (Unbeknownst to him, with a slightly red face.) It didn't help matters that lately, the innocent blond had been turning up in his dreams too. To Red's immense relief, most of the fantasies were harmless: the two of them on a date at the beach or watching the sunset together. Well, they had started out like that, but recently, there had been some more…inappropriate ones. Like the one last night where she ended up on his lap, arms around his neck, mewling into his ear as his hands did…things under her skirt. She had moaned and looked at him with those beautiful eyes and he had lost control, pulling her up against him and kissing her hard before trailing his hands under her shirt, telling her how much he loved her…

Green was now staring at him, and Red realized that he had been daydreaming. His face quickly became flushed as he realized that Green wasn't the only one, most of the class was now looking at Red with varying expressions. Gold had even woken up and had shared a knowing smirk with Blue. To Red's utter horror, Yellow was looking at him with a slightly pink face. (Which made her look ADORABLE) What had he done?

"Is there a problem back there, Mr. Roso?" Ms. Roxanne seemed annoyed that she had to stop expounding on the wisdom of Steinbeck.

"Uh, No! No ma'am!"

"Then pay attention." Returning once again to what the village's doctor's chubbiness stood for, Red was soon forgotten by Ms. Roxanne. Soon all of his classmates went back to what they were doing too. Gold actually pulled a pillow from his backpack to put on the seat back. Desperately trying not to think about smooth legs, soft lips, and a small voice pleading in his ear, Red tuned into what Ms. Roxanne was saying.

"…pair up with one another to read the books and discuss. Remember, this will be a month-long project. You and your partner will finish reading The Pearl, and will then move onto The Red Pony. Finally, we will conclude our unit on Steinbeck with Of Mice and Men. I repeat; you will have to discuss with your partner the theme questions I give you for each book, and fill out a discussion guide for what you talked about. I must stress this, if I do not get the weekly discussion guide, you and your partner will not get credit for the week. It would be optimal to meet with your partner at least twice a week. Any questions?" Crystal's hand was up in a flash.

"Ms. Roxanne, will we be able to choose our own partners?" Crystal asked, apprehension in her voice.

"No, Mrs. Kuri. You'll work with the partners I pair you with, and on that note…" Mr. Roxanne turned to her desk, rummaging around.

"Here it is." She said, holding up a small list. "By the way, do any of you know what's been happening to my really good pens? They keep going missing."

"No idea!" Blue sang sweetly from the front. Ms. Roxanne looked hesitant, then shrugged.

"Well anyway, these are the pairs: Emerald and Ruby, Sapphire and Silver, Gold and Blue, Red and Yellow, and Crystal and Green. Are there any legitimate objections?"

"I'd rather be with Green." Blue said cheerfully. Ms. Roxanne looked surprised and slightly miffed.

"And why would that be?"

"I'm worried about my educational development." Blue's comment seemed to catch Ms. Roxanne off guard.

"I…I'm sorry?"

"Ms. Roxanne, this may seem surprising to you, but I am quite easily distracted. With this in mind, I don't think that Gold would be the best discussion partner for me. Why, I wouldn't learn anything! We would goof off for hours, and my education would be stunted!" Gold opened his mouth in protest, but then realized who he'd likely be paired with if Blue had her way. He quickly shut his mouth.

"Well, yes Ms. Akina," Ms. Roxanne hesitantly began. "I can sort of see your point…Yes, I think that'll work. All right, you can be partners with Mr. Oak. Mr. Kayn, you can pair with Ms. Kuri." Both Crystal and Green stated their immediate and intense opposition. "Enough. That's how it is. Now, are there any more issues with… Yes Ms. Akina?"

"I also think Ruby and Sapphire should be together." Blue suggested, rather sunnily when you considered the fact that over half the class was now glaring at her, and Ms. Roxanne was starting to look seriously annoyed.

"You don't get to suggest pairs for other students, Ms. Akina, especially the two most combative in the class. May I ask why you proposed this?"

"Pride and Prejudice." Blue whispered serenely. Ms. Roxanne immediately got a faraway look in her eye.

"Ah, Pride and Prejudice," she whispered as well, her eyes still looking into another world not populated with hormonal adolescents. (Or at least, probably not) "Fine, they can be together too. Anything else?"

"Nope,"

"Very well, then." Ignoring Sapphire's demands of, "What does that mean?!" and Ruby's outraged spluttering, Ms. Roxanne sat down at her desk.

"You have the rest of the period to read. You can pick up this week's discussion guide by the door. Good luck."

* * *

"All right guys! Let's get out there and break some waves!" Brawly's voice washed over Red and the other boys as they stood in the school's football field. Not that they ever played football. No, their rather eccentric gym teacher was "more creative than that." His idea of physical education generally involved rock climbing, spelunking, surfing field trips, and obstacle courses. Lots and lots of obstacle courses. Today was one of Brawly's personal favorites. The boys would learn to smash rocks to bits with their bare hands! Talk about life skills!

"I got a boulder for each of you!" Brawly gestured enthusiastically toward the end-zone where half a dozen boulders were sitting. The barefoot and shirt-less boys made their way toward the stones, their shoes sitting off on the sidelines. Their lack of clothing was by design, firstly, because of the heat, secondly, as they had learned early on that during "rock smashing days" it was safest to wear the largest and heaviest gloves you could find and then stuff them full of all the clothes you could spare.

"Pride and Prejudice, What _does_ that mean?" Ruby bemoaned as he started slapping at his boulder half-heartedly.

"Ruby, nobody cares about your and wildchild girl's tragic love, okay? Let's move on, I'm having a serious crisis here!"

"What's up, Gold?" Red asked while considering if he would still break his hand if he hit the rock, even with his shirt, jacket, and socks stuffed in the gloves.

"Being partnered with Crystal is the worst thing that could possibly happen to me." Ruby rolled his eyes.

"I thought you wanted to be her partner."

"That was before she told me I had to _work_!" Green sighed, and Silver muttered something likely uncomplimentary. Emerald started laughing, and Ruby just swore, though that was less because of Gold's dilemma, and more because of the fact that he had obviously not stuffed his gloves enough. Red had stopped listening, however. His full attention was on the small figure heading across the field toward them.

Yellow stopped when she arrived, her eyes firmly riveted on the ground, and her face slightly pink. Red wondered why she was avoiding looking at him, had he done something wrong?

"Hey Yellow, are you all right?" He asked, his concern apparent though his usually cheerful disposition. Yellow flicked her eyes up to look at Red. Her face abruptly turned tomato red and she quickly looked down again.

"Hello, Red," she managed to squeak out. "Y-yes, I'm f-fine."

"How is Ms. Maylene treating you?" Red asked, gesturing across the field to where the female P.E. teacher was instructing her class.

"F-fine." Green decided to help break the awkward silence that was extending, albeit in his own way.

"Any particular reason you're over here?" He asked in his usual monotonous voice. Yellow glanced up with a slightly panicked look.

"Re-ed, since we are pa-partners, I-I was wondering if we could m-eet at my dormitory on Th-Thursday to dis-discuss the b-book." Yellow's stutter combined with her squeak at the end amounted to nothing less than the epitome of cuteness in Red's mind. Suddenly everything was right with the world. Yellow was asking him to visit her at her dormitory. Could today get any better?

"O-or not," Yellow quickly said. "W-we could do it some o-other time, too. I…" Her voice trailed off when Red's hand alighted on her shoulder. Her eyes sought out his.

"I'll be there." Red smiled down at her. Once again, for reasons Red couldn't fathom, her face turned beet red. She quickly murmured her assent, before hurrying back to the other girls. Once she was out of earshot, Gold let Red have it.

"Well, look who's been scoring lately! Nice going, you actually got a girl to invite you to their room! If it wasn't Yellow and, you know, _you_, I would recommend certain activities that you almost certainly wouldn't be interested in. To each their own right?" Red struggled with the inner guilt of knowing that, thanks to his dreams, he was definitely more interested in Gold's suggestions than he should be.

"Anyway, I need a way to get Crystal off my back. Any suggestions?"

* * *

"Blue, what does that mean, Pride and Prejudice?! And what the #$!% do you mean by pairing me with Ruby?!"

"Shhh, Sapp. I want to watch this." Blue carefully observed as Yellow crossed the field toward the boys. Maylene continued to push the girls to do as many jumping jacks as they could. Yellow had been huffing next to her when Blue had decided to be the saint she was, and ask Ms. Maylene if Yellow could please schedule a date, sorry, discussion time with Red. In her dormitory, of course. Predictably, Yellow had been less then willing, but Blue had numerous "persuasive techniques" at her disposal. Blue chuckled as she watched Yellow stare down in embarrassment. Red, of course, was totally oblivious to the effect his naked torso was having on the poor girl. It was actually making her stutter worse than usual.

Blue purred as she watched the almost amusing display. "Yes, I'm so glad I decided to act. They would still be doing this dance their senior year if someone hadn't stepped in! It was so cute this morning when Red whispered 'I love you' in Ms. Roxanne's class. Bet you anything he was thinking of Yellow! It really would be painful for everybody if this went on!"

"Speaking of pain," Sapphire snarled. "I don't suppose you'd like to explain yourself?!"

"Not really," sang Blue, still watching the drama across the field.

"Blue!"

"All right," Blue giggled. "I did it because you two are ADORABLE together!" When Sapphire attempted to strangle her, Ms. Maylene called her on it and made her start on twenty laps around the field.

"Speaking of explaining themselves," said Crystal, as Sapphire began her punishment. "Why did you want to be with Green?"

"Would you believe I didn't want to do any work, yet still get a good grade?"

"Definitely, but you could have chosen me for that, with just as much chance of success, plus then I wouldn't be stuck with that idiot." Crystal's face was beginning to go red, though she would blame it on physical exertion.

"Well," Blue winked at Crystal, before turning back to watch Red place his hand on Yellow's shoulder. "We all have our secrets. Don't we Crystal?"

* * *

Red couldn't concentrate throughout any of his classes the next day. (Blaine yelled at him for almost setting the chemistry lab on fire.) His mind was fully occupied with the thought of being in Yellow's dormitory tomorrow night. He shouldn't be that nervous, right? They were just going to talk about the book. Blue had even told him Matron Cynthia had given him permission to visit the girl's dormitories for fifteen minutes that night, so it wasn't like what he was doing was against school rules. Still, the thought of just Yellow and him in a room sent shivers down Red's spine, both good and bad. His dreams had returned last night, and it had been worse than ever. This time he might have actually…done something to her. What if he started staring again, replaying his sick fantasies?! What would Yellow do? She was so innocent. It would kill Red to think he hurt her or made their friendship end because he couldn't control himself.

These thoughts were running through Red's head as he climbed the stairs to the girl's dormitories, copy of The Pearl clutched in his hand. Upon arriving at the wing containing the girl's in his grade, he realized that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He couldn't just leave, however, Yellow would think he was standing her up, which was ridiculous because this was NOT a date. Before his moment of indecision could go anywhere, Blue opened the door to that wing's common room and promptly pulled him inside.

"Hiya, Red! Yellow's in her room over there! Crystal, Sapphire and I are going out, so you don't need to worry about us. Good luck with your wooingImeandiscussion. See ya!" And before Red could ay anything, Blue had grabbed an equally startled Sapphire and Crystal, and dragged them out into the hall, slamming the door behind them.

Red gazed around at the room. It was nice enough, with a kitchen area in the corner, a table and chairs, and a couch and coffee table in front of a TV. Various doors led to what Red assumed to be the girls' bedrooms. After a moment's hesitation, Red started toward the one Blue had gestured to. Before he had gotten halfway across the room, however, he heard sobbing coming from within. "Yellow?!" Red yelled, rushing forward and bursting through the door. Yellow was sitting on the bed, her face in her knees. She looked up when Red erupted through the door, her tear-streaked face glistening. Red was stunned. Why was Yellow crying? Had someone hurt her?! Immediate rage coursed through Red's blood, promising a violent end for the one who had, before a terrifying thought occurred to him: what if she was crying because she didn't want to see him? Had he done something to her without knowing?! Before he could continue this line of thought or voice any inquiry, however, Yellow launched had herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest, still sobbing continuously.

"Re-ed, It's soooh hor-ibble…" Yellow continued to cry into his chest making Red's feelings, in order of strength, as follows: extreme concern, a lingering fear that he was the one caused this, anger towards whoever HAD, a sort of guilty pleasure that her arms were wrapped around him, and disgust for himself that he could feel anything close to pleasure with Yellow sobbing in front of him.

"Yellow, what's the matter?" Red cried, patting her on the back of the head and trying to decipher her blubbers.

"Coyotito di-iees!" Yellow's sobbing was just starting to calm down.

...What?

"I'm sorry? Who died?!" Red demanded, suddenly panicking. Had somebody Yellow was close to died without him realizing it?!

"Kino and Ju-una's babyyy, hee dieed…" Red froze. Yellow continued sobbing, winding her arms tighter around Red's waist. He glanced down at his copy of The Pearl, still in his hand.

"…Yellow, I know. That's horrible. The author's got some nerve." Yellow just nodded into Red's chest. Her sobbing seemed to be petering out.

"Horribble, sooo horribblee…" Red smiled slightly down at her. She really was amazing; she cared about people on such a deep level. Red didn't know if he could protect her from heartbreak, but as he stood there patting Yellow's back and whispering reassurances as she wiped her tears on his shirt, he swore that he would always be there to comfort her. And he would never, ever be the cause of her heartbreak, not if he could help it. He would protect her from anything, even something as silly as Steinbeck.

Because Steinbeck was a jerk.

* * *

Yes, Steinbeck is a baby killer. The struggle is real. Let me know if I should do more one-shots like these.


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